The Girl From Shinagawa

I should be doing something useful like taxes or insurance claims while Lindsay Alice naps this morning, but instead I've been working on the lyrics to her theme song. Set to the tune of The Girl from Ipanema.

Small and sweet and young and hungry

The girl from Shinagawa was fussy

And when she fusses, each cry it sounds just like, “WAH!”

When she cries, it’s like a banshee

It sounds so loud, it makes you crazee

And when she stops, her parents, they sigh “Thank God!”

Oh, though we tell her we love her

And that we never would leave her
No, it isn't her diaper

Still each day, starting at 6

She cries all the night til she quits

Small and sweet and young and hungry

The girl from Shinagawa was fussy

And when she fusses, we try, but she just doesn’t quit

She never will quit

Previously unpublished photos from her time at the Red Cross Hospital (courtesy of our friend Colin). No babies were harmed in the taking of these pictures.

Japanese Lessons

I've started collecting Japanese phrases and idioms related to babies and parenthood.

目に入れても痛くな胃(Me ni irete mo itakunai): Even if I put you in my eye, it doesn't hurt. More generally translated as the apple of my eye

イクメン (Ikumen): This combines the Japanese verb for raising a child and the English word for men.  It's a new word to describe not just stay at home dads, but more generally, modern men who are more involved in raising children. 

A real ikumen's ikumen.

おなかを痛め子(Onaka o itame ko): The child who made my belly hurt. Keep in mind the epidural rate in Japan is only about 3%.  

小さ生んで、大きく育つ(Chisaku unde, ookiku sodatsu): Born small, raise big. Alot of women get pressured not to gain too much weight during pregnancy. I assume this phrase is also related to the low epidural rate, where it's easier to have a natural delivery with a 6-7 pounder than with a heftier baby.

子は鎹(Ko ha kasugai): The child is the bond between parents.

一姫二太郎(Ichi hime ni tarou): Generally translated as "it's good to have a girl first and then a boy." Someone else suggested, "It's good to practice with a girl first, then have a boy." Somehow, I suspect the second translation is closer to the true meaning.

鳶が鷹を生む(Tonbi ga taka o umu): The black kite (a common bird?) can give birth to a hawk, or even plain parents can give birth to a genius child.

蛙の子は蛙 (Kaeru no ko ha kaeru): Literally, the frog's child is the frog, meaning like father, like son, or the apple does not fall far from the tree.

If she's the frog's child, who's the frog?

And finally:

親ばか (Oya baka): Literally, "parent stupid," referring to overly fond parents who believe that their child is the cutest, best child in the world. Lindsay is obviously the cutest, best child in the world and there's nothing oya baka about it.

How Lindsay Alice picked her own name

Madeleine, Abigail, Anna, Vivian, Christina, Daphne. What do these names have in common? None of them are Lindsay. I've forgotten the few dozen names we bandied about before she picked her own name, but Lindsay was not on the list.

Last fall, we had a wonderful weekend in Gunma prefecture. We went up with a friend and met a Japanese family who had arranged a night's lodging at a traditional ryokan in Kusatsu, a famous onsen town. It was a perfect weekend with good company, delicious food, and lots of relaxation. And there were trees!  I miss trees living in Tokyo.

A pre-dinner stroll through town after our bath.

The first half of our kaiseki dinner.

On Sunday, as we drove through Nagano to catch the train back to Tokyo, I was in a half-dozy, very happy state with the fall sun streaming through the windows, lost in thought about the last time I had been in the area. I had enjoyed many ski trips with friends, including to Nagano, when I previously lived in Japan. For some reason, my sleepy thoughts settled on an acquaintance named Lindsay. Although I liked Lindsay, we weren't close friends, but she was foremost in my mind for some reason. Jason, lost in his own thoughts about skiing, turned to me at that exact moment and asked "What about Lindsay?" Lindsey Vonn is a famous skier.

Enjoying a perfect fall day in Nagano.

I snapped out of my reverie, my jaw dropped and I momentarily suspected that Jason might have supernatural powers. We didn't completely settle on the name Lindsay that day (or the spelling), but I maintain that Lindsay settled on it for us.

As for Alice?  We originally considered Lindsay Ann, but in mid-December I came home from work and asked, "What do you think about Alice?" Jason said he had always liked that name, had just downloaded Alice in Wonderland, and was also going to suggest it. And that's how Lindsay Alice picked her own name.

Future Olympic Skier?

Boot Camp Spa Avon Party

If you had asked me last February what I would be doing during the week of February 3rd from February 9th, I would have answered "the Sapporo Snow Festival, of course." Man plans, God laughs.

How I thought I would spend my winter vacation.

Instead, we enjoyed our 6-night winter vacation at the Red Cross International Hospital. We were originally supposed to stay only 5 nights, but we were having so much fun that we stayed for a 6th night.  Actually, I developed an infection with a very high fever, so they kept me in for an extra night to pump me full of antibiotics.

How I actually spent my winter vacation. And our little souvenir.

What did we think of it?  To paraphrase an American friend who used a different hospital, "I thought I would be bored with five days in the hospital, but it went by so fast. I can't imagine being released after only two days."  We felt the same way and were especially happy that we were still at the hospital on Wednesday night when I came down with a fever. I absolutely did not get bored. In fact, I was thrilled to have someone bring me three healthy meals and two snacks a day; midwives to show me over and over again how to breastfeed; and a buzzer to to ask for more ice, more heating pads, more pain reliever, more whatever I needed. They were probably relieved to see the buzzer-happy American finally check out. Over 6 nights, 7 days, I only left the maternity ward once - a trip down to the very well-stocked convenience store on the first floor to pick up some baby items for home.

The experience was part maternity boot-camp, with a bit of spa-like treatment and a no-pressure "Avon lady" thrown in.

Maternity Boot-Camp:  Every day at 11 am, the maternity ward plays a short informational video about life in the ward. Every mobile woman is expected to traipse out to the lounge area the first day after delivery to watch it. The dozen or more women who gather daily look more like wounded warriors in a military hospital than new mothers, though perhaps there is some equivalence.

Some women are fairly alert and attuned to the video, others appear nearly comatose. But all are expected to watch the video to learn the rules of the maternity ward. Never leave your baby unattended; if you are mobile, return your own tray to the  food cart; if you have a shared room without a private bath, schedule an appointment for the shower; also schedule times to use the coin laundry; empty out the diaper pail in your room daily, etc., etc..  Oh, and by the way, there's a "breastfeeding salon" where you can get an awesome massage during your stay with us.

The food trolley. They deliver it, you return it.

Unfortunately, I was about 15 minutes late and missed most of the key information, some of which I figured out, some of which I didn't learn until Friday. I can only imagine what the midwives thought of the pampered American whose husband stayed with her all week, never returned her own food tray (though Jason figured it out and usually returned it), wasn't emptying her diaper pail and used her buzzer incessantly.

Spa: As mentioned, there was a breastfeeding "salon" where you could receive a masage, drink special herbal tea, practice using a hospital-grade pump, or sit in the coffee-house style lounge seats and practice breastfeeding using their nursing pillows, while flipping through Japanese magazines.

Beyond the salon, the midwives generally provided wonderful, empathetic, and helpful care. Yes, there were rules that you were encouraged to comply with, but they were there to help you when you needed it. It actually was a good mix to encourage self-suffieiency, while providing essential support. And the food was suprisingly good. At the beginning of the week, I was provided a menu and could usually choose from one of two entree options. They designed the meals to provide me with 2200 calories per day, along with certain levels of calcuum, iron, etc.. Kind of like a specially designed menu at a spa.

Avon-lady: It turns out that the well-stocked convenience store features a number of products that you can practice with while staying at the hospital. Hip-slimmer belt: here, let us grab the samples and find the right size for you. Trouble breast feeding: try this pump with these special slow-flow bottles. Not sure how to disinfect bottles: have you seen the Milton disinfecting kit? Oh, you don't want to leave the baby to go downstairs? You can call, place an order and the convenience store staff will bring it up to you. Now that's convenient!

The cutest hospital-issued baby uniform ever.

Party: Jason and I commented innumerable times that we couldn't imagine leaving after only two days. I was still so sore after two days and had no idea what to do with this small, hungry baby. However, we did pay for a private room so that he could stay with me (most dads left every night at 8 pm, private room or shared room). Who would ever want to stay in the hospital for five nights in a 4-person shared room?

A friend of ours told us that she loved her two hospital stays in her 6-person room. She said it was like a party where the women sat around reading magazines, sharing advice and the second time around moms helped out the new moms. In the months after she left the hospital, she continued to go out with her hospital roommates. Once again, I'm reminded I should not be so quick to judge things of which I have no experience.

One last surprise about staying in a Japanese hospital: a generally all-inclusive and reasonable price for the entire week. I suspect the pre-imsurance cost of our 6-night stay was less than the typical 2-night stay in the US. We paid extra for the private room, Jason's meals and treatment associated with my infection (mostly covered by insurance), but otherwise we did not have an itemized bill for every painkiller, ice pack, and heating pad that I requested. There was just one fixed cost for normal labor, delivery, and recovery, with room costs varying only by room type.

Getting ready to go home.

Actually, there was another surprise. An emergency evacuation drill coincided with our departure. The lobby was full of staff and fake patient volunteers carried out on stretchers. Fortunately, we were warned in advance, so that we didn't freak out over the crowds on what is usually a quiet Saturday afternoon at the hospital.

Introducing Lindsay Alice

One week ago today, Lindsay Alice joined us at 8:42 in the evening. 3.08 kilograms and 51 cms.  I'll let you pull out your smartphone to do the calculations just as Jason did in the delivery room that night. The photos below are courtesy of friends who kindly visited us in the hospital.

Our little good luck charm joined us on the Japanese holiday of Setsubun, a day heralding the coming of spring in which you throw roasted soybeans out of the door (or at someone wearing a demon mask) in order to cast demons out and invite good spirits into your home. It seems an appropriate day for her to join us as we start our new life together.

A is for Acupuncture

I held the following post back until after she decided to arrive. I didn't want to jinx myself.

Thursday was 41 weeks. I continue to feel fine and the baby seems to be doing well, but she is taking her sweet time. So at our doctor's appointment, we asked about acupuncture. The doctor did not have any concerns, so we made an appointment with the Acura Acupuncture clinic, which is often referred by one of the primary ob/gyn doctors serving the ex-patriate community in Tokyo.

The acupuncturist mentioned that he has women who begin seeing him as early as 36 weeks and I wish we had gone sooner than 41 weeks simply because it was fascinating. Acupuncture falls into the category of things that "can't hurt, might help" to encourage the onset of labor. Evidence is mixed on the effectiveness of it, but the primary shortcoming of most studies is that the sample sizes are quite small. A study showing it to be ineffective from Australia had about 150 women. Another study from Norway showing it to be effective had about 100 women. So, again, can't hurt, might help.

But I enjoyed the session and will definitely consider acupuncture in the future for other purposes. No the needles do not hurt, but most people are aware of this since it has become more commonplace in the US.

My treatment lasted about an hour and a half. We had a short intake interview and he described the process. I changed into a pink smock that zippered in front and buttoned in back so that he could access various areas, but preserve some modesty. He also checked the position of the baby and briefly listened to her heart. We did not place any needles in or near my stomach.

Then he started to find tender spots along my legs, feet, on my forehead, etc.. I was amazed that he could just feel these spots that I've never even noticed. Sometimes he would ask if one spot was more tender than another, but he found them as if he had special radar fingers. When he located the most  tender spots, he inserted a thin, flexible needle. He then connected the the needles in my legs to a TENS machine, which emitted short, non-painful electrical pulses and turned on a heating lamp over my legs. He left me for 10 minutes and then returned to repeat the process on my left and right sides, finding points along my lower back and hips and adding some additional heat treatment. At the end of the session, another staff person did an odd head massage with a heated metal tool and he manipulated some of the points in my legs again.

TENS machine attached to a needle in my lower back.

So will it work? Who knows. At 41 weeks, this baby is ready to come out no matter what we do. But I had two distinct sensations that were clearly related to the treatment. First, the baby was very active during this session. At the same time, I definitely experienced some surges/waves/contractions. Yes, I've been having these, but these felt a bit stronger. Neither of these things were painful, and of course, it's always reassuring to feel the baby moving. Second, I noticed a very obvious endorphin-y happiness come over me. It was as if I'd received laughing gas or some other happy drug. Although I was relaxed and peaceful, it was a different feeling than the relaxed sensation you get from a massage. Simply speaking, I couldn't stop smiling. And like laughing gas at the dentist, the effect began to wear off within an hour or two of leaving the office.

I'm not faking this relaxed look.

No Superbowl Pajama Party

I was convinced this baby was going to come early. And then I was convinced every day last week that she was on her way. Instead we've finished off the Downton Abbey series and the freezer is more than stocked (Cincinnati chili, black bean soup, spinach and cheese nuggets, chicken burritos, chicken and rice soup, lasagna, and mini-meatloaves for a small army). We've tried spicy Korean food, Indian food, Mexican food, and tonight we had some spicy Buffalo wings. We live on the 7th floor of our high-rise building and try to walk down to the first floor and back to our apartment in the morning and in the evening, doing a squat on each floor. This kid is comfortable in there.

Despite our efforts, it looks like Jason is not going to get the Superbowl pajama party he was planning with his daughter next Monday morning (Sunday night US time). At least not in the comfort of our apartment and maybe not in his pajamas. Even if she arrives tomorrow, we will probably stay in the hospital for the 5-6 nights recommended by our hospital. Five to 6 nights - yes, you read that right. That is the standard in Japan for a normal delivery. It's longer for a c-section or other complicated situations.

Like so many other pregnancy experiences here, I've been interested in the the cultural reactions towards this feature of Japanese medical care depending on whether one is American or Japanese. When I tell family or American friends, I get a shocked "one week!" response. Usually this is accompanied by the look of a caged animal frantically searching for the trap door. When I speak to Japanese friends (either in the US or in Japan), they respond with a dreamy, "And you'll get a whole week in the hospital...," as if they are checking into an exclusive spa.

I have no idea what we will think about the experience. Perhaps somewhere in the middle. Since it is our first child and our families are not here, we are inclined to stay closer to the full amount of time. I think we will appreciate the extra care and assistance. Even friends who desperately wanted out of the hospital after even two days in the US have expressed how challenging that initial transition was after arriving home. I'm sure staying only delays that inevitability, but perhaps we'll be at least a bit more rested. God know we have enough food in the freezer to not have to worry about cooking for a while, so that will also be helpful. And Jason's parents just sent me my favorite cereal so I've got snacks covered too. Really, kid, anytime you want to come is just fine with us.

So what will we do for five to six days? It sounds like they assist with any number of things in that week - helping to establish breast-feeding, teaching you how to bathe, diaper, and even massage the baby, along with other baby care activities, and generally just trying to allow the mother to sleep and physically recover. Beyond that, I have no idea. Without any experience of this in the US, I have no basis for comparison. I assume US hospitals provide similar assistance, though obviously in a shorter amount of time. I can imagine the days getting a bit long and we may not stay the full amount of time, but it's looking like Jason might be (hopefully!) watching the Super Bowl at the hospital. Now that will be an interesting cultural experience for the hospital's midwife staff!